July 2007
37 posts
“Young Man and Van”
– On a van down the road. Made me think of someone I used to work with who liked the young man in the Box-It van.
Blogs
I was wondering last night if I need another blog - one that would be for just writing all the things I can’t say to people or put on this blog. It got me wondering if there are other blogs out there where people write for themselves - like a diary that no one reads. I suppose there is no real way of knowing…
At least
the socks were salvageable.
Sigh...
Changing nappy, have an ominous feeling… sure enough there is a pee accident, need to change Sprog’s clothes. Sprog is practising wriggling so a bit of an ordeal wrestling tiny arms into tiny arm holes. Finally finished and in new nappy and clothes… 5 mins later ‘poo face’ occurs… I am typing this prior to establishing whether it’s a full on nappy...
Guess the celebrity love child... →
pointless but good way to waste 5 minutes when you should be doing something more constructive.
Weaning
We started the whole weaning thing at the weekend… going surprisingly well, Sprog seems to love baby rice even though it looks (and probably tastes) like wallpaper paste.
Pureeing yummy baby din dins
In my imagination:
Peeling and chopping - easy
Cooking it - yawn
Blending it - whizzzzz :-)
Spoon into handy ice-cube trays - et voila
In reality:
Wash stuff up as dishwasher not put on
Peel and chop, make big mess of pear juice and peelings
Realise haven’t washed ice cube trays
Need room to put things so have to make more space
Cooking - supposed to take 5 mins but takes...
Why the Number of Stupid People on Earth is... →
Friday's summary...
Left for Tesco at 1:30 got back at 4:40, this is what happened:
Lots of rain, walk through swamp to get to car - not a good start. First obstacle - idiot woman in huge 4x4 unable to drive through 3 inch puddle (you’re in a 4x4 for gawd-sakes!!??)
Can’t find parking space for ages. Miserable old fogeys are parked in the parent and baby spot - ponder acts of vengeance whilst waiting...
Sprog is 1/2 today!
Or as Husband would say, 0.5
Paris wears same outfit as her dog →
oh no… the matching outfit saga gets worse
“5%”
– finally worked it out…
Nursery fees..
…have gone up already… before Sprog has even started. To make matters worse they cunningly use a different fee structure than they originally sent, so you can’t work out the increase without a PHD in Economics.
Apologies
Dear Soo, Sorry for all the overtaking on the motorway, it’s just that there are too many slow people and they’re often in front of me. Also I apologise for going over 50 in third gear…
PS - Sorry about the pheasant
Dear Pheasant, Sorry for running over you. Not sure it was entirely my fault, as walking onto the motorway when someone is driving at speed isn’t really a...
Valued Opinions →
You can earn vouchers by doing surveys online - quite handy for getting a few quid off at Amazon etc
Crusty bogies...
How do you get them off!!?? Can they be bottled and sold as an eco-friendly glue?
Clothing issues
This morning I was deliberating whether a t-shirt matched Sprogs jumper… then I realised the sheer stupidity of the situation and just bunged some comfy clothes on him. Unfortunately this resulted in us wearing matching outfits - how nauseating…
Let down again
Creeping, ninja style, down the landing to Sprog’s room (at Granny’s). Tiptoeing on the carefully pre-planned route to avoid excessive floorboard squeaking. Successfully get there with minimal squeakage, only for both my knees to do loud cracks just as I stand by the travel cot…
Matress problem solved
I have flipped it over… no more crinkling… but also it is now not on the waterproof side which may be a bit of an issue if there is leakage in teh nappy department. I noticed on the label it says “may not absorb vomit” - I wonder how they test that kind of thing? Bluergh.
Also I found 2 dummies under the cot - bonus!!
At last - some more normal parents... →
Long, and maybe boring if you don’t have a sprog, but proof that not everyone is perfect Mummy!
Wriggle scrunch
All night… wriggle wriggle, scrunch scrunch… why does Sprog’s mattress sound like it’s stuffed with plastic bags? I’m sure the racket it makes wakes him (and therefore me).
“Power to regulate the size of loaves of bread and to seize bread of unlawful...”
– Mayoral handbook - (Granny is a Mayor)
BBC - Woman runner-up in one-horse race →
Lovely story… especially the last line…
Parps...
I don’t think anyone really mentions in polite company just how parpy babies can be… and it’s not like tiny baby sized parps… it’s full on flatulence… they start out loud from birth… how can something so small produce so many loud noises?
Ahem
Sprog has developed a polite cough… dummy loss is now greeted with “ahem…ahem….ahem” with increasing frequency until dummy is restored to cakehole.
“Skank!”
– Shouted with venom at Self and Husband by a 4yr old sat in a trolley at Lidl’s.
June 2007
32 posts
I remembered what I was going to post
When out and about Sprog likes to be ‘rocked’ in the puchair - ie a constant back and forth motion must be continued whilst stationary. I now find myself doing this to the shopping trolley even when Sprog isn’t about. I hope no one notices me lulling the weekly shop to sleep in the freezer aisle…
So I did....
Husband: Can I read your blog...? Oh, you haven't written it yet
Self: No, I thought of something good last night but I forgot it
Husband: You should write that in your blog...