May 2007
39 posts
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makes me randomly poke people I barely know…
Breakfast facts
Microwaved coffee is bearable
Microwaved toast isn’t
Danger danger
Today Sprog has: Headbutted me so hard he has a mark on his bonce from my specs, scratched himself 3 times - drawing blood each time then refused to let me hold him as he blames me…
Coffee morning...
Yesterday I spent much of the day tidying in preparation for the arrival of our NCT antenatal group, junk hidden, plug in air freshener turned onto MAX, Duchy Originals biscwees had been purchased. I think you can picture it… today - one person turned up. I am now having to eat 6 mini carrot cakes myself. Hurgh…
Twinkle twinkle little starrrrggghhh!
Apparently snails that sing twinkle twinkle little star aren’t good… in fact they are evil. Sorry, make that Evil.
One button press = 10 seconds of singing = 40 minutes of screaming
Tantrums....
My Sister has very kindly taken some studio photos of Sprog as she is a photographer, they have turned out brilliantly (probaby because she is a perfectionist). Sister set everything up before hand as doing lights etc seems to take a long time, I can see now why supermodels throw mobile phones and get narky, the setting up takes longer than the shooting. Fortunately Sprog avoided this and was...
LOL hahaha or LOL kiss kiss kiss???
Have had several emails from various friends, example below:
…I can’t make it because I have a funeral to go to…
LOL
I’m hoping they’re meaning lots of love or else the email could be a little bit sinister…
Smiley smile smile...
Apparently it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. If that’s right then surely smiling is easier than frowning? Sooo… how come Sprog only learned to smile at 11 weeks old but could frown convincingly from 4 weeks old?
realfakewatches →
This would be funny except they’re really selling them… what kind of nump would buy a pretend watch like you get from a christmas cracker?
I'm watching you →
Am having a go at Google Analytics, number of visitors so far… zero. Maybe it’s just not working, or perhaps Husband hasn’t read my email ordering him to visit the site…
Ha ha
Sprog did his first proper “ha ha ha” laugh yesterday… it was very cute. Shortly after there was an incident in which Sprog managed to get poop on my pyjamas and t-shirt plus his vest and socks. Maybe he was laughing in anticipation…
PS - Husband was jealous of the “ha ha ha”-ing but not of the poop incident
Love is in the air
Sprog is in love with Burt Junior… i think it’s his purple bottom, random tummy lights and the way he reads the news in the morning…
Traffic Calming?
How are Rumble Strips calming then? They’re not when you have a sleeping Sprog in the car and you get rumbled. Darn.
Note to Self: Don’t buy any more white bath towels…
Note to Sprog: Please don’t let excitement overcome bowel control every time you see a white towel…
USB Dummy?
Bit of crying… feeling a bit weary…chatting on messenger, nearly shoved one of the USB keys that was lying around into Sprogs cakehole instead of dummy - oops!
Songs we sing to Sprog
Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
The Poo Song - Lyrics and music: Husband
Jerusalem - Lyrics: Blake, Music: Parry
Hey Baby - No Doubt
The Laughing Song - Charlotte Church
Warrgh*splutter*arrrgh!!
I think a solid hour of extreme crying last night has worn Sprog out. I feel sorry for him being upset and wailing, but I feel secretly glad that I had enough time to have a leisurely shower while he’s sleeping it off…
Scale of annoyingness...
Cat being sick - annoying
Cat being sick under bed - a bit more annoying
Cat being sick under bed into my shoes - a lot more annoying
Cat being sick under bed into my shoes and waking Sprog who is asleep in aforementioned bed - arrrrgh!!!!
Sleep Crying - 3am
Sprog: Zzzzzzzzz
Me: Zzzzzzzzz
Sprog: Bwaaaaaaaargh! [I am in torment come to my aid immediately!]
Me: Huh! [Springing into action]
Sprog: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: Wha?!
Sprog: Zzzzzzzzzzz*snortle*zzzzzzz
Me: Darn... [Lays awake staring at ceiling]
Mighty Mouse →
Just got one of these so I can surf one handed whilst carrying Sprog about. Is pretty good so far…
Thud...
I have low blood pressure - Husband says he will help put it right by annoying me until it goes up… thanks…. fortunately he hasn’t put his plan into action. I think I’ll just eat lots of salt to try and raise it up a bit.. or maybe go for a drive in rush hour and get a bit het-up and hoot at people.
The Morello Letters →
I’m currently reading this in between feeds and nappies… spoof letters are funny!
Baby Crying Compo →
Those Japanese dudes sound like they know how to treat babies… maybe there’s a UK version I can enter Sprog into… we could start our own league!! (Link courtesy of Barnsley)
My Name is Hurl
Went for lunch in Guildford… gave sprog bottle, he seems to attract many compliments and admiring glances. To try and curtail the pressures of public adoration he did a bit of a hurl on the food court floor. It made a resounding splat which I think he found quite satisfying.
Vet visit
Had to take Cat to the vet today, she was quivering in her tiny mobile cat prison… luckily she was pronounced to be “in good nick” by the vet. I’m sure that must be a medical term of some sort and not a result of him looking at my car out of the window…
Tips?
Are you supposed to tip the nice blokey who delivers the Sainsbury’s shopping? Seemed like a nice chap, for some reason he was telling me how in Poland Jehova’s Witnesses got a short shrift… I told him they were trying to convert Husband, possibly because he is bearded which seems to be a prerequisite for religious types. They’d not returned since “Highway to...
Tomato
Why do I always cook something in a tomato sauce when wearing white… sigh…
Printer update...
“The following printers work with the Belkin Wireless Print Server (F1UP0001): HP PSC950 MFP Printing only”
MFing Printer…nyarrrgh!
“Walk as many miles as you like…”
– From the Crocs website, they’re comfy when pacing for several hours with Sprog.
Read all about it...
… a poop so powerful that Granny had to put a copy of the local paper undeneath Sprog to try and contain it. Another vest and babygrow trashed, plus several sheets of newspaper…
Still...
I wonder when you stop waking up in the night and checking if the Sprog is still huffing and puffing away…
Maybe the 4th stage of labour is worry as well as guilt…